whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
