my soul wont recognize me after tonight
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Randomize
