4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
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