the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize