the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize