i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
