you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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