what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Randomize
