I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Randomize
