he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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