Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
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