I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Randomize
