yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
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