i think my tv is drunk
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
