So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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