Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
