he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
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