dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
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