Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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