Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
