This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
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