...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
soo... how was my night?
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
