I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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