what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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