I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
