you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
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