I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
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