Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
