Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
You're like the curious george of whores
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
The power of my boobs compel you
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize