grandma shit on top of the toilet
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
