I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
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