im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
