I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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