I looked at my own cervix.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
