So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
