Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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