Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
