this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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