This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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