Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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