forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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