Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
