its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
