glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Randomize
