yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Randomize
