for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
