Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
