found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
