I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
