I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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