What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
