So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
