I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
