So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
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