can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Randomize
