He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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