Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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