Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
