dude i'm inner monologue high
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Randomize
