Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Randomize
