This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
i think im in europe. pls send help
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize