I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
