Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
i think i have two assholes
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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