What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
