i was born a porn star she said
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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