come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
