Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
