We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
